My friend complains of problems and asks me to find out the solution. After working with him and similar people for many situations, I thought he is a problem monger. I was asking him why not to avoid problems. He has a philosophy that problems are an essential part of life.
For example, preparing food is very essential and it consumes all his time preparing food and others by leaving it to him are avoiding that problem. He is taking up that problem to solve and it is so far never solved.
Some of the people who eat his food, complain about the taste. Some complain that it is not done in time. Some have a problem of the items that they do not like. But no one volunteers to prepare or even help in preparing the food. They are all busy. Sometimes they skip the food for want of time. Know that they are all genuine things without exaggerations.
How to solve this problem?
Let us first find out who has the problem. None of those other than my friend has any problem to blame my friend. They just want food and my friend only took it upon his head to carry it out. They never want my friend to have any problem. But my friend simply tends to solve and make a problem out of it.
He says he could prepare food of varieties and tastes. He had been doing this for decades and this is the recent development. Yes, indeed it is a recent situation, as the number of family members have increased and his energies have reduced.
His capability is not enough for him and so his attempts to meet the situation is turning into problems. He only is creating the problem which never existed before. People wanting to have tasty and healthy food in time is not the problem. It is just a requirement. Because of my friend who took it up and try to handle it, in spite of his lack of strength created the problem of it. Anything to solve the problem with my friend who is weak now results into more problems.
It can be solved by someone who is capable of handling it. Leave it to someone who may willingly do it and is also capable of it. If none of the family members are ready, but want food, let them go to a place where they provide such food of their choice. If such a food of their choice is not available anywhere, let them eat whatever is available. If you think, you cannot eat food outside, you can prepare the food as your most favorite activity for yourself. If you like, you can share with others whom you love to.
There are many ways to express love. Food is not the only way! If you can sing a song and bring pleasure to others, better do it. If you cannot, better not to do it and create a problem for others and definitely for yourself.
There are no obligations in life.
You may feel that you have committed to do something and now is incapable of doing it. Before complaining, first, drop the worry. Say it aloud to others and let them find better solutions for the situation. Do not feel guilty or helpless. Do not be adamant that you are the lone soldier to fight the situation. Heal yourself from the weakness and build your strength. Take up challenges only when you are capable.
Find out ways and means of building your strength instead of trying to solve the problems. Solutions manifest to the extent that you are capable of doing.
This is how the weakest people create the most effective and easy solutions. It is something similar to all the modern gadgets. The remote control of a TV must have been invented by the laziest fellow who could not go to the TV to operate it, But now everyone uses it, right?
A dynamic person himself might have invented it but he is also using it. Vehicles are invented by the people who could not walk long distances in a short time.
So is life – that if you think, you are loosing your capacity, you have a better chance of inventing something new and creative which may relieve you of the hardship.
Solution is not about tackling a problem.
It is to create a situation that the problem never exists. If it keeps existing even after the solution, how can it be a solution? How can that be a problem in the first instance, as you can never solve it?